Flippy flippy, flippy the nicky nacky noo. Floppy doppy, bingo your log bangaroo.
As a child growing up in Greece, I often wondered why my parents left me there when they went home.
Artu mantu bishtu
What do you think this is, a caravan park?
This Mystery of Edwin Drood that BBC America is showing; it's all made up you know.
Why would a woman want to put a horse's cock in her mouth; you don't see men do that kind of thing.
Growing up in Venezuala, I often wondered why the Greek family who my parents left me with came here and left me.
My sister-in-law willingly walked around her familial house stark bollock naked just to annoy her paedophile father.
Get off of my fucking tank.
Peter King shouldn't be allowed forceps.
Women shouldn't wear white trousers unless they a) are without panties and b) suffering heavy menstrual flow or c) also have their tits out smeared in Marmite with gerbils nibbling their enormous nipples. You can have all three if I can watch you pee in the woods.
I have often considered using a toilet when I am shitting in a baby's mouth, but I never quite get the same strength of erection.
Is it true that Muslims force their women to cut their own eyelids off if they watch The Voice?
I once knew a woman who covered herself in cocktail sticks and then tried to mate with any one. She said it was a great rape deterrant, but so was smearing herself in shit or vomiting on men who talked to her. I tactfully explained that as she weighed 3400lbs, had tits like serving dishes full of calamari and a cunt like Lake Michigan after a party, she wasn't likely to get raped or even experimented on by Nazis.
The woman next door has a body like Venus and a face like Cyrano de Bergerac; she's what my racist father used to call a two bag one sock job. He now calls them his wives.
Masticate
Monday 9 April 2012
Monday 2 April 2012
Milk My Heavy Rod
Bickle bockle, bickle bockle.
Sticky, you're so sticky. Sticky stick stick stoo.
Bicky, bocky, micky mocky, sponky donkey.
Whistle up her snatch. Whistle up her snatch.
She could be quite a catch
If she lets you whistle up her snatch.
Loopy. You're so loopy.
Even when you are covered in some gloopy.
You always ask me to watch you having poopy.
And you like your tea all soupy.
Oop oop dee doopy.
Introducing the man who has legs for arms. Watch him stand up twice.
I always thought it was just a huge genital wart.
When you make your stew
be sure to put in some poo
dish it up in bowls made of glue
and call your dinner guests Sue.
Apparently Chinese woman have identical vaginas to most white women.
The scene where Tin Tin sticks his hand up Captain Haddock's arse and rips out his intestines was cut from the final print.
Women priests should't be allowed because God was a misogynist.
There's this frog; it's a mighty frog. It can burrow its way into your eyes and eat your brains.
You can only find it in Sacramento. If you touch its skin you can feel your body change as you turn into a big puddle of female ejaculate.
There I was, naked with Daniel Radcliffe, standing on a beach in Rugby and all he was interested in was how often I masturbated.
You die on Wednesday you cocksucking transvestite paedophile.
Sticky, you're so sticky. Sticky stick stick stoo.
Bicky, bocky, micky mocky, sponky donkey.
Whistle up her snatch. Whistle up her snatch.
She could be quite a catch
If she lets you whistle up her snatch.
Loopy. You're so loopy.
Even when you are covered in some gloopy.
You always ask me to watch you having poopy.
And you like your tea all soupy.
Oop oop dee doopy.
Introducing the man who has legs for arms. Watch him stand up twice.
I always thought it was just a huge genital wart.
When you make your stew
be sure to put in some poo
dish it up in bowls made of glue
and call your dinner guests Sue.
Apparently Chinese woman have identical vaginas to most white women.
The scene where Tin Tin sticks his hand up Captain Haddock's arse and rips out his intestines was cut from the final print.
Women priests should't be allowed because God was a misogynist.
There's this frog; it's a mighty frog. It can burrow its way into your eyes and eat your brains.
You can only find it in Sacramento. If you touch its skin you can feel your body change as you turn into a big puddle of female ejaculate.
There I was, naked with Daniel Radcliffe, standing on a beach in Rugby and all he was interested in was how often I masturbated.
You die on Wednesday you cocksucking transvestite paedophile.
Sunday 1 April 2012
Like Shit on Your Fingers
Mr Marchetti was arrested for chanting obscene words at a nail.
The supermodel who urinated on the pope.
Ralph wasn't sure if it stopped there or continued for longer.
He used soap to lubricate my hole.
The girl was so ambiguously abused that her hair began falling out.
You can't really say plippy-ploppy in the High Court.
We are all animals.
Can lard be used as a moisturiser.
I can't quite understand why anyone would want to rub vomit on their breasts.
People are seldom impressed by something that is truly impressive.
You say the idea for this game is to insert the beer can in there and then insert my penis in the beer can.
My mother was the only person who could bring me to orgasm.
Jesus had his peculiarities; he used to fondle worms.
What happens next?
The supermodel who urinated on the pope.
Ralph wasn't sure if it stopped there or continued for longer.
He used soap to lubricate my hole.
The girl was so ambiguously abused that her hair began falling out.
You can't really say plippy-ploppy in the High Court.
We are all animals.
Can lard be used as a moisturiser.
I can't quite understand why anyone would want to rub vomit on their breasts.
People are seldom impressed by something that is truly impressive.
You say the idea for this game is to insert the beer can in there and then insert my penis in the beer can.
My mother was the only person who could bring me to orgasm.
Jesus had his peculiarities; he used to fondle worms.
What happens next?
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