The news that Charlie Adlard has stolen the corpses of both Mike Wieringo and Mike Turner and is fucking both of them until his penis gets sore has angered a number of Parent Teachers Associations in Atlanta. Mrs Argobast, the senior advisor to the PTA said, "What kind of message is this sending out to our children?"
Steve Gerber was contacted by medium and was asked how he felt about dead comics creators being violated in such a way, he said, "Why does this never happen to me?"
Liam Sharp, another English fellow, said, "Huh, Charlie, he Ad Lard and now he travels. Ad Lard and travels? Geddit?"
Someone close to Mike Wieringo - his dead grandfather - said through some Muslim gauze that he felt that his grandson would appreciate his rectum being used in such a disrespectful way. "He always liked having things put up his backside. We were always pulling Lego bricks from out of it when he was a child."
Eleven Pounds of Anus Flesh
Tom Sutton might be the latest in a long line of comics artists to be dead. Arthur Adams said recently on Conan O'Brien that it was a curse and that people who worked in comics seemed destined to die, yet Stan Lee is still going strong. It must be an indication that most of what Lee did wasn't really classed as comics.
Adam Schlagman's Vagina Feast
Andres Alves has been outed as the latest boyfriend of Bob Fingerman and is believed to really like taking it up the backside. This led Conchita Alves, Andres' mother to ask the question, "why do some men like getting really stinking shit on their penises. Surely it is unhealthy and who would want to put it in their mouths once it is smeared with another man's bum do?"
That's a good question. I've been gay for most of my life, but I now believe it just means that I'm happy and carefree rather than a liker of man on man love.
The Girl with the Elongated Penis
Dan Brereton has revealed for the first time that he felates rabbits and has been doing so for a number of years. He claims it helps with his artwork technique and means he can prolong his own ejaculations for up to a year. He denies learning all he knows from Jim Starlin, but says they both did a lot of drugs during Secret Wars.
Mashed Warts
You have been warned.
Save My Lettuce
David Beckham and Ashley Wood are to perform operations on homeless children for a studio audience in Mexico in January. Beckham, 44, was hoping for someone more famous, but had to settle for a semi-famous man who copies other styles.
Beans are Good
Drew Rausch is having his spleen removed for charity and it is being replaced by a rat that has had it's teeth and eyes removed.
Hick Banana
I always thought Hilary Barta was a woman; even though he doesn't have a penis to speak of.
Dave the Boring Cola
Bob McLeod has admitted that he spent many years in the 1980s taking cocaine and screwing 13 year old girls, even admitting that many of the girls really didn't enjoy his cum in their faces or in their ears. McLeod, now serving 100 years in a state plenipotentiary for raping his grandmother and forcing his dog to have sex with his children is believed to be highly mentally unstable and not the same Bob McLeod who worked for Marvel Comics...
Try This
Jamie Rich made his money from child prostitution. Apparently he wasn't very good at fucking, but if he took his teeth out he could give a mean blow job.
You all smell of piss
