KPC is making a comeback, especially in the deep south of the USA and France. KPC or Kiddie Porn Comics was launched by a group of famous writers and artists in 2007, but they wore sheets over their heads and all spoke in fake Scottish accents.
The first releases from KPC were just essentially sick jokes turned into 20 page stories. However, within a few months the company attempted it's most famous project to date, Behind Hannah Montana's Hymen. A fictional look at a fictional character's unbroken sex organ, BHMH broke many of the rules, but was ignored by censors and animal rights organisations because of the immaculate way the artist managed to draw Montana naked. Martin Kurtzberg of the CCA said, "Hell, there isn't a grown American man alive who hasn't fantasised about seeing Billy Ray's lil' gal in the buff, or maybe even some open leg shots and the younger the better we at the CCA say!"
Quite a change in direction for the once highly popular CCA. Frank Miller said, "They're all just a bunch of self-serving bastards. The artist is one of their grandchildren - you mark my words!"
Anyhow, that's all history. KPC launch a plethora of new titles onto the already flooded market in January. The first is In the Back of Your Car, a three-part mini-series about a paedophile who kidnaps pre-pubescent children, forces them to have disgusting acts of degradation with him before killing them and dumping their bodies into a meat processing plant. This is followed by Gloria Estefan: Miami Cunt Machine, another 3 part story detailing the sordid and sometimes highly illegal business the entertainer had running sex slaved children from Havana.
The first triplet of titles is completed with Lesbian Single Mother Torture Porn Paedo, the true story of a stunningly attractive 26 year old woman who is a kiddie fiddler and mass murderer, believed to have molested and eaten at least 2000 children over a 4 week period in Santa Monica in 2009.
NFEX contacted Santa Monica PD to ask them what they felt about this comic book company producing a comic about the murders that made the killer look like a superhero. Chief Bob Slunge had this to say, "I have no idea what you're talking about, young lady. There hasn't been a female paedo killer in these parts for centuries. We haven't had 2000 children go missing over a month and will you stop stroking my leg?"
Spiny Anteater
The summer is a notoriously slow time for news - nothing happens. George Perez accidentally flushed one of his kidneys into the LA sewerage system and has still yet to find it and is undergoing dialysis as we speak. Marc Silvestri has seven unpaid speeding tickets. Bryan Talbot has checked himself into a convent for a week in September; the Sisters of Barium Meals and Bondage is a small but selective convent on the outskirts of Skelmersdale. Cliff Robinson might be dead and Al Williamson almost certainly is, although his wife is refusing to stop hugging the body. Bruce Banner has gone on holiday to Samoa and
Verboten!
Tang! is a new comic about a woman with serious vaginal odour syndrome or SVOS. A rare condition that means your vagina smells of all manner of exotic fruits mixed with a putrid glucose like discharge that tastes like earwax. To complicate matters, the sufferer, Mary Hunt, is also very ugly and is oddly shaped, making her look a little bit like the moon people from that Harryhausen film with Lionel Jeffries in.
Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Steve
Soon having no talent will be a thing of the past, thanks to Microswift's new software that enables you to draw like your favourite artist and write like your favourite inker! Marvel plans on completely resurrecting Jack Kirby's creations but with the added twist of them being written by a porn dialoguist.
Salmon Rusty
Is dead.
Gone fishing...
