John Paul Leon's new book is called Tracey's Black and it tells the story of a very fat Negro girl with terrible skin complaints, a bad attitude, a fishy odour and flat feet, who thinks she's a white girl and kills any one who doesn't believe her. The comic comes with scratch cards and a mouse.
Wretched Feet
Possibly due to the overwhelmingly hot winter, there has been a problem with the inks and therefore all of May's comics will be printed on glass.
Goliath Insinuates Loss
Roger Stern returns to comics with an unusual project; Man-Thing Liberates a Gay Prison is possibly semi-autobiographical or maybe not, we don't really want to speculate. "This is a book about empathy," said Stern from behind a steel cage, "therefore it was important that Man-Thing was in it. Man-Thing could be a metaphor, but if I had wanted to get deep, I would have called it Giant-Sized Man-Thing Liberates a Gay Prison on Ice wouldn't I?"
Stern is also producing a new line of Bolivian superhero comics, featuring heroes battling Chilean and Peruvian villains. "It'll be something different. I have this Bolivian girl whose power is to shit on people with projectile liquid shit that is both radioactive and acts as a love potion. Whoever gets infected falls in love but dies. The Bolivians are into this kind of thing, especially if it's their neighbours getting it in the balls." Stern has been made an admiral of the Bolivian navy.
Jam Rag Fuchsia
Tired of being told what to do by your parents? You can either live with it or buy Bryan Talbot's new graphic novel, I Killed My Parents But Failed to Dispose of The Body Sufficiently Well Enough to Keep the Local Law Enforcement Agency From Eventually Finding Me and Prosecuting Me, But I've Had Time to Look Back on My Errors and This is What I Should Have Done, is eight-pages of beautifully rendered work on the back of rare eagles wings and will retail for diamonds and emeralds.
Femi-Dom Soufflé
Luscious and still bursting with mammary goodness, that was how William Christopher described his 82 year old mother, last week at a vomitorium in Harrogate, East Yorkshire. The publisher has admitted that he has been breast feeding now for 44 years and his mother is still eager to provide him with her milky goodness, despite it now having to be scooped out and mixed with gin.
Previously on 24
Thanks to a scene in a recent Daredevil comic, 'foetus bashing' has become a reality. In Boisey, Texas, a 14 year-old boy was charged with offensive behaviour after he killed and ripped the unborn child from a young black woman and then proceeded to rein-act scenes from the 1977 Superbowl final. Police believe the boy might have been under the influence of Oprah and have arrested her.
Vague Trepanning
Bruce Wayne, who gave up the mantle of Batman several years ago to live in Cambodia with Michael Jackson, has asked DC Comics to stop printing made up stories about him now that it has finished adapting his memoirs. Wayne, said through an embassy worker, that DC had made enough money from his 80 odd year crime fighting career, but now it wasn't fair on comics fans to believe he was actually still out there fighting for them.
Still Grasp
A controversial Japanese book about nasal porn is being brought to the USA by a small man wearing a duffel coat; because he looks so ordinary, he believes he will pass through customs unmolested.
Bold Irony
Leopards have long been a necessity in the production of comicbook staples, but scientists believe that metal may well be a more ecologically friendly alternative. A spokesperson for the leopards declined to speak, but made general noises about a loss of privileges and the constant erosion of workers' rights.
No Insertion: pigs will, wood sherry, see weed, wobbly buttocks, baking hot, hairless prostate, prime optimus, orange beef, bored corrosion, ham string, pieces of ate, lime custard, vamp ire, Stan Dandy Liver, true life piercings, inflatable irons, domestic bliss, fail safe, Remington steel, barrow.
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