Standard Child Molestation

The Overtan Way

Over to Gloria Woo with this breaking story...
“Thanks Bob. We’re here in Arlingtonville, Missouri for the trial of Billy-Bob Strange of Flenge. Strange, as some of our viewers might be familiar, is the estranged cousin of the magician and sorcerer supreme, Stephen Strange. Billy-Bob is charged with the sex murders of eleven children and has already courted controversy for sending taunting tapes, letters and videos of himself describing what he did to the parents and family of all the murdered children. Curiously, all the videos the police received from him during his time on a killing spree also had long lengthy footage of blancmange setting, which Billy-Bob has never explained why.
“Strange purchased a two minute slot on an ultra-right wing neofascist group’s radio show and proceeded to describe to the parents’ of Nicola Poom how he had cybermodified his penis so that it had a little digger implement and how instead of just raping their daughter, he actually fucked her a new hole with the diamond tip of his remodified penis, he then asked if they could phone in their address so he could send them photos. Bob, you’ve certainly got to admire this sick puppy’s gall and audacity; in fact I want to scurry away somewhere and fiddle with myself just thinking about it.”
“I know what you mean, Gloria. I have someone giving me a blow job under the table. Here’s Dick with the weather.”

Statue on de Phone

Polythene is something fat girls should be wrapped in and thrown down mines.

Moxy’s Poxy

David Cameron, the director of Avator and Titanic is about to embark on a new career as a basking shark impersonator. Cameron, 53, told Angus Bloor, “It’s all about doing something different. People just associate me with lesbianism and nothing else, so I’m having to think outside the box.”

Silver Toilet
... sorry ...

Silver To Let
World Spangle champion, Roy Thomas, has revealed exclusively to us that he has grown some of the hair under his arm back. Thomas, 70, grew alarmed in his forties when all of his underarm hair fell out, but it seems it’s growing back after a 25 year break.

Handsome Girly
Moss Isley, the only remaining living member of the Isley Brothers, but never actually played with the band is suing George Lucas for a lot of money.

Macaroon Madness
The Pink Hulk gets involved in more homosexual shenanigans in a new sexually explicit graphic novel from Disney’s new Hard Cock imprint. The brainless queen of thump gets caught drying humping a tank by the local gay club who need an extra member to join their glee club and all kinds of spunky mayhem ensues!

Bolivian Horse Meet
Data’s positronic brain has gone on show at the Science and Technology Tower in Metropolis.

Candid Flotsam
I just don’t get my best ideas sitting here, I get my best ideas in the kitchen when I’m dancing around and generally getting into that grove thang that always red lines because thang isn’t a fucking word in the world of bill fuck me Gates and his iron lung wearing sheep dog with the truffle seeking nose and the officer Dibble smile; I bet you hate yourself in the morning after sleeping with that cod and forcing it to felate you while you read the Times and drink dry martinis. The world doesn’t revolve around you, it revolves around a 14 year old Ukrainian girl called Anya who is being forced to have sex with a horse everyday to satisfy the needs of an aging oligarch who can no longer have sex with anything but the animatronic hand of a monkey, but this man’s helper is married to a woman who knows a man who can literally lick his own eyebrows with his tongue, apparently its a rare condition where your tongue is actually six times longer than it should be and also pokes out of your bottom if you strain too hard while having a shit, which, I firmly believe is only half true and my boyfriend Andy believes is irresistibly cute, a bit like Bambi who, of course, watched his mother get murdered by carnivorous cartoon characters.

Notre Timos: poison Ivy, Lord Lou Can, Cor Stick Soda, Russ Tic Seen, Pick Arse Hole the Famous Artist, Minge Baiting, Si Lent, But Dead, Lee, All a Huskey Needs is Mush Room, Leg Inns, Leg Ends, Jesu Swept, Buckets of Lard.