I decided to ask my grandmother if she still had oral sex and she said, yes, they still talk about it.
The last thing I expected was for it to go off in my hand.
If you break your legs, don't come running to me for sympathy.
I just said he was handy, it wasn't meant in a sheep loving way.
I'd hazard a guess and say all food makes you shit, not just Indian food.
I'm desperately excited about your off-hip replacement.
Gingerbread - ginger but not really bread.
If Daredevil can't beat up Galactus, is he really a 'super' 'hero'?
I used to have a pet salmon called Rusty.
Do we all agree that her tits might be her own.
I was waiting at the bus stop when he just came over me.
After that he wiped it dry on my trousers.
I said, Sharon, that's a terribly common name. Common as in lower class.
Who ever said there was less than a teaspoon of fluid in an ejaculation, I'd like to cum in their face and then get them to tell me if that was just a teaspoon.
Did it occur to you that when your daughter said, 'Daddy, please stop, it's very sore now," to stop fucking her up the arse with a plaster caste of a donkey? Rectum? Beyond all recognition, matey.
Ice cream is VATable? That's a fucking outrage. I'm going to write to my MP.
Why do some bald men look excusably gay?
I was always the person who didn't like the public ones because of all the toilet sounds.
She has several holes and mostly of her own making.
I never considered lesbianism as a career move, more of a defence in chess.
Holidays are only fun if you can abuse imprisoned naked people with seawater.
Honestly, some women could do with looking at themselves in the mirror before going out into the real world, baby!
Sounded dead common and we all know about naked swimming, don't we? Eh?
You cannot accept Haliborange as a word that rhymes with orange; it only does that because the word was invented.
I always found that it was the geeks and weirdo kids from school that ended up having their cocks pierced or having tattoos of Homer Simpson with their ringpiece as his mouth.
I'll try not to cum in your mouth; I will however probably piss in it. I had three pints at lunch and they have to come out at some point.
Herbs are very good in butter except maybe some herbs and pork.
It was like a real life intercontinental indigestion remedy.
We know.
Reach for the tin opener, squint at the pigs swarming in through the door and accept that Jesus Christ is someone's personal saviour.
Mohammed was always a bit of a gay bloke. I remember all of us having a beer at the Gods Bar. I was there with Mo, Odin, Zeus and a few minor deities and Buddha, who no one liked because of his fucking ridiculous existentialist views and disbelief that the rest of us wield all the real power. Any how, this young servant boy brought a tray of beers in, but dropped his tray on the way out, revealing his tender buttocks as he bent over to retrieve his vessel carrier. Suddenly Mohammed was on him like a fly round dead fish. There was shit everywhere, the boy's arse was ruined and the head of Islam just sat there in the corner, with his thumb in his mouth (I think it was his thumb) shaking his head and mumbling about never living this one down at God Club on Sunday. While all of this was going on Buddha stole all the vegetarian canapés and urinated in one of the fish bowls, plus he called one of the staff a 'worthless cunt' and punched another in a testicle before escaping with the queen's silverware. Bastard.
I try not to think it hurts my leg.
My son has a problem accepting that space isn't concrete.
I said I don't care how hard he worked on it, I was not eating anyone's Marmite ripple icecream, whatever it was made of.
The simple solution would be to kill him.
You could say that, but no one would believe you because of the size of your penis.
I'm a little teapot short and stout and you're a liberal minded cunt with a bad hair do.
It's not rocket science, it's paedophilia. When I tell you to bring me some fresh meat, I don't want 33 year old friends with a pound of liver.
I don't want to muddy the waters but a blues singer has just handed himself in at the front desk claiming he shot Elvis.
If you substitute the Y for a pair of tatty knickers then I'm sure he won't have a problem with his erection.
Don't be disgusted by this; be disgusted by your willingness to bend yourself into any position for my wanton cock monster!
Then he died and a fine line of dribble slooped from the corner of his mouth. One of the women grabbed the bed clothes and pulled them back and screamed at the size of his penis. It was supposed to be much bigger than that. this man was obviously an impostor or maybe even a much disliked person from the 1980s.
It's no longer a civilian matter.
Bucked teeth horse flesh rubbish band wine loving beetroot glazier with legs
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