Quite why Courtney Cox wanted to write an autobiographical comic book account of the number of times she was fingered by someone else, since her first sexual experience when she was 13, is any body's guess, but she's managed to snare Mike Allred to draw it and David Schwimmer to narrate the audio comic!
On a promotional tour to promote her new promotion, Cox told Mike Really of Fux News, the reasons behind her decision, however, she was not prepared for what happened next...
"I decided I wanted to do a comic book about my earliest sexual experiences because I thought they'd look cool on paper. I chose the people to do it on the strength of who drew me looking prettiest and the accuracy of how they drew my vagina. I had over 200 artists all drawing my vagina at one point; they were all crammed into this small room at the Ritz Carlton, with drawing boards, digital cameras and tissues."
Do you really think that people would want to see a comic book about Tom Sellick's masturbatory adventures?
"Um, well, I probably would. Depends on whether or not it's Tom doing it to himself or others doing it. If it was a fantasy comic and Tom was being wanked off by Brad Pitt or Lee Majors then I'd definitely buy it."
Don't you think that a comic about you being fingered is a bit selfish? I mean, what does a boy get out of fingering a girl? He has a stinky finger, if she's not the cleanest girl in the world, and he can boast to his friends that he's had a bit of pubic action. If you're the sort of girl who can cum just by having your bits fiddled with you're going to be all right, aren't you? You can have an orgasm and love it and the poor boy is just sitting there with this massive hard on and you don't even think about giving him some relief do you? God people like you make me sick!
"Oh."
Baghdad Bill-a-bong
There's a war raging between two artists after it was disclosed that the two of them tried to do something that just isn't quite right...
In June 2007, Erik Larsen met Gary Larson at TwatCon7 in Muncey, Idaho. The two of them, thinking they were related hatched up a scheme where by they had a child who would have all the unique qualities of Gary and would get rid of the unique qualities Erik has. The problems started when they decided to have the child together, Erik continues, "We hired a hotel room, got naked and decided to have sex with each other. I went for the only orifice that would comfortably take my erect penis and to be honest it was a little like having a wank with a shit encrusted hand. We did this loads of times, but after 9 months there was still no baby in sight."
Gary added, "It was horrible. I have nothing against homosexuals or weirdo fucking perverts that want to fuck women up the, um, Gary, but seriously, it just feels like you want to take a big shit. I don't know whether or not my prostate is fried, but I got nothing out of it apart from a leaky bottom."
Rabbi in Rabbit Hunt
Dark Horse Comics launch their new Pornographic Pony line in January despite protestations from a local gymkhana, who are dead against the first of the imprint's new line. Mrs Abigail Horrsing said, "Its nonsense to suggest that girls' fall in love with ponies. Yes, they might enjoy healthy sex lives away from the prying eyes of those who don't understand, but to say the girl's are in love with the ponies is stupid. I've told all my girls that the biggest benefit from having a pony cock shoved inside you is it helps in later life with childbirth and will give future boyfriends the chance to experience fisting. To do a comic pertaining to be about the love affair between a girl and her pony is just sick."
Divorce my Kidney
Jack Pallance was gay! This is the assertion made by Jim Shooter in his new comic Bollocks Uncovered! The new comic drawn by David Lapham insists it will tell untold tales of the entertainment industry from a perspective never done before in a comic, from inside the stars' anuses.
This sounds suspiciously like a story we ran recently that didn't involve Shooter or Lapham - which, if you had a twisted mind you could see something definitely homo-erotic about both their surnames.
Scientology Scientist Senses Sentience in Snark
Polished and immaculate; just two words that I just plucked out of thin air that suitably describe the new artificial limb that Tom DeFalco has just been fitted with.
Violent Fens
Organist and part-time comics artist wanted, will supply own goat.
Next time: people with hairdos that smell of cheese; weirdos with cheese people for friends; beauticians with multiple sclerosis and massive dildos; obstetricians with hard ons; basic animal first aid, an exclusive interview with a helicopter pilot and footage of Stan Lee's latest enema. Crack on!
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